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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?